A Private Universe: Stories, Models and Bubbles!

As a kid, I believed that I possessed some special powers. I guess, that’s pretty normal when you are growing up reading comics of super heroes and listening to mythologies. One particular power which I believed that I possessed was, “the power to wish away bad things”. This is how it works. If something bad is about to happen, I think about the event in my mind and visualize how it unfolds. This mere act of thinking would then cancel out the bad events and they no more occur in the real world. I guess, it gave me comfort whenever I got into trouble and expected a punishment, not that I was a problem child.

I remember using this power often when my father was late from work. I used to play/visualize all the things that could have gone wrong in my mind, so that those things would not have occurred to him in real life. My powers worked pretty good and he always returned home safe. The only time he met with a small accident was the time when I didn’t use my powers as I was late from school myself. I don’t exactly remember when I stopped using my powers, but I am sure I used them for a long time.

Humans are innately curious beings. If you observe kids, you will see almost everything interests them, they like to poke and explore the world around him. They try to figure out how things work and then eventually build a working model based on what they observed at their own level. At some point, they also start listening to stories of how things work and try to fit in the observed world in the context of these stories. This is a continuous process of learning and takes months and years to build models and believe that one possess super powers.

Now comes the part where one encounters conflicting information. A point where one observes that the super powers are not working. I never thought of the reasons, of why I stopped using my powers, but some plausible reasons are, I may have realized that I could not think of all the possible bad things. My act of thinking might not be really that powerful. Or I might have felt that it was silly to do so, a case of dreams being crushed. Whatever the reason, I moved to a better model of making sure my father was safe (e.g. by calling him). Did the change happen instantaneously? No! Was it hard for me? Yes!

In learning theory, they call this the “expectation failure”. Where one preconceived idea or model fails and you have to confront a new idea or model. One has to constantly face expectation failures in different aspects of life (e.g career, relations). As a kid, it’s easy to discard one model and switch to another model, but it gets difficult as one grows older. Sometimes, in order to avoid a confrontation, we create bubbles. Bubbles of like minded people and believe whatever we want to believe in. But that’s a topic for another blog.

The motivation for sharing this personal story of mine, is the interaction I have been having with a group of graduate students and teachers for the past few weeks on the topic of learning. How students learn and what are the hindrances to learning ? And does acing a test mean the student learned the content ? Where does my story fit into this topic? Well, let me tell you another story.

The ancient Greeks had a story for the change of seasons. This is how it goes:

“Persephone was the beautiful daughter of Zeus and Demeter; sometimes considered an Olympian. While gathering flowers in a field one day, Persephone was abducted to the Underworld by Hades, who arose in his chariot from a fissure in the ground. Demeter, goddess of the harvest, was heartbroken, and while she wandered the length and breadth of the earth in search of her daughter, the crops withered and it became perpetual winter. At length Hades was persuaded to surrender Persephone for one half of every year, the spring and summer seasons when flowers bloom and the earth bears fruit once more. The half year that Persephone spends in the Underworld as Hades’ queen coincides with the barren season. The heroes Peirithous and Theseus attempted to abduct Persephone and bring her back to the land of the living.” – Source

Now, I have a question for you. Take a moment, and think what is cause of seasons on earth. Don’t use google or wikipedia, just think and then write it down on a piece of paper or a word file and save it.

Now watch this (it’s a bit long, but totally worth it if you are interested in learning):

Go back to your answer, if you got it right, spend a couple of moments to think whether you just remembered the answer or reasoned the answer. If you got it wrong, look back at the holes in your reasoning. What could have been the causes for those lines of reasoning or ideas. Was it some wrong notion you carried along and never questioned or has it do to with ‘super powers’. What other wrong ideas/models do we have? If one wants to know what is wrong idea, I suggest them to read the article “Relativity of Wrong” by Isaac Asimov.

Happy Learning!

About the pic : One of my favorite pics from the International Street Fest, Athens, 2011

I guess a part of me still lives there….

It is amazing how attached we get to things, places and inanimate objects. As I was moving out of an apartment in which I lived for 4 long years of my grad school, I could not stop myself from thinking and feeling all the memories and emotions attached with that place. I lived in dorms and hostels for almost 12 years now and moving out of a room or apartment is not a new experience at all. Again, I never lived this long in a single place either. As an undergrad, you move to a new room every other year and even while pursuing my masters, I moved almost every year. So, may be having stayed this long at one place had to do with all those strong feelings. For a few days, I was even missing my old place even though the new place was better. I was missing the usual place where I used to sit and look through the window for a long time without much going inside the brain. The corner behind the table where I pushed all those things which I didn’t want to see and convinced myself that no one else will ever look there.

During this transition, I explained to myself that I need to get used to new place. Just like the first time I moved to US and had to get used to even simple things like a switch where the ‘on’ and ‘off’ positions were opposite to what I was used to. May be that’s what it always boils down to. We get used to stuff! We take time to get used to people, places, things and then one fine day change occurs to which we detest, protest and then meekly adjust. No matter how much we claim to like change and look forward to it, I guess there is always a part of us which abhors change and clings to the old way.

Ah nostalgia! How we relish the painted and repainted past again and again. How we talk about the good old days when such and such thing never existed and we still had fun loads of fun. How the world around us was inhabited by wonderful and fine human beings and all we have today are mean and selfish people. It’s not just ordinary people who think like this, great philosophers like Plato in the 4th century BC have said things like, “What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?”. Are all these signs that we as a species are attached to the past? Although we have physically accepted the change, our minds refuse to live in the present, all in the hope that we somehow, someday will get used to the present to start the whole cycle over.

As all these thoughts were going through my mind, I was slowly getting used to my new place. I kind of like it now and found my new corners and favorite places. A narrow space in the kitchen in between the wall and counter space is my favorite hangout place after my long runs. I like to believe though that a part of me still lives there in my old place. Just like a part of me lives in the town where I grew up and went to school and college, a part of me which lives with my parents and friends. I guess, we are allowed to have different parts of the ‘self’ scattered at different places. This way, I can make peace with the present and still relish the past.

I guess a part of me still lives there….

About the pic: On a snow day, right behind the apartment where I used to live. The person with the dog had a long way to go.. I guess

breathe in, breathe out.

Try remembering the last time you had a very deep internal sense of happiness and peace with yourself and the world around you. May be it was when you watched a beautiful sunset, or listening to the roaring sea while walking slowly on the warm sand on the beach,  while playing with kids, or when you ate some really tasty food cooked by your mother after a long time. One of those times, when you turned very calm, relaxed and happy. It could be just one of those days when you woke up from a good sleep completely fresh and energized. If you could successfully think and recollect one such incident, think a little more. Think how exactly you were breathing. Were you breathing slowly and deeply or were you taking short breaths or worse were you puffing.

Now, think of the last time you completely ran out off breath. You were running to catch a bus or train, you were hiking and climbing the last hill when you thought you cannot walk anymore and took a break. May be it was the first day of a workout schedule and you were trying to run a mile. You started strong but just after a couple of minutes, your breath got shorter and shorter while you forced yourself to run a little longer but eventually had to stop and catch a breath. Or you were furious over something and started yelling and shouting at someone in a fit of anger and finally had to stop as you ran out of your breath.

Over the past couple of years, I have been trying to observe how exactly my breath changes in various situations and how I can change my breath to work things to my advantage. It all started  with my Taekwondo instructor who used to often tap on my shoulder and say, “breathe in, breathe out”. I used to tense up my muscles a lot and make myself very stiff and in the process wear myself quickly. Not very helpful if you want to fight longer with a stronger opponent. As I started breathing in slowly and breathing out slowly, I started relaxing my muscles.  At first, it sounded counter-intuitive, as how can I be relaxed and cool while kicking a pad. So, I started smiling a little, which eased me and allowed me to breathe in and breathe out slowly. This is turn made my kicks stronger and stronger over a period of time. It took time, and it was not something which happened over a couple of days or weeks. To be relaxed and cool by breathing in and breathing out slowly was the mantra. The same technique worked for running too.

Very often, when we physically exert ourself, we are making the heart work harder, which in turn asks for more oxygen from the lungs which force us to breathe faster. So far so good, but the problem starts when we start panicking and start taking shorter and shorter breaths. In this process, we don’t inhale much air, it is a shallow breath, and we are exhaling the air out immediately. As a result, there is hardly any air/oxygen reaching the lungs or heart. And this whole feedback loop of shorter and shorter breaths finally reaches a point, where we have to completely stop the physical activity. Most of us don’t know or don’t realize that we are panicking which is leading to shorter breaths. So, the idea here is to stay calm and “breathe in, breathe out” slowly. Again, I want to emphasize that, this is not an instantaneous process, it takes time and effort.

Apart from the physical activities, even our thoughts, emotions and stress effect our breathing pattern. If you took the exercise at the starting of the blog seriously, then by now, you know how being peaceful and breathing are related. How getting furious over something makes your breaths shorter and how playing with children or walking on the beach makes one happy by taking longer and deeper breaths. Working in a lab, or in front of a computer, we are straining some muscles every day, taking shorter and shorter breaths, till we drop dead tired. The way out, is to take a short break once in a while, to breathe in and breathe out slowly and relax all those poor muscles

So, here we have a choice. To be carried away with the thought or emotion and react or to act calmly by breathing in and breathing out. Again, the idea is to be conscious, to be aware and “breathe in, breathe out”.  As Professor Dumbeldore said, “It’s our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are far more than our abilities”.

Before I stop, I want to share a small story by Gil Fronsdal from the book “A Monastery Within : Tales from the Buddhist Path.”

A scholar came to the Abbess in a monastery and explained, “I have spent a lifetime studying Buddhism and it has not helped me much. What am I missing ? What is it I need to understand?”

To prepare the scholar for her answer,  the Abbess sat silent for a while. Then she said, “Breathe in an easy and relaxed way and then study what causes you to lose that ease. Everything you really need to know about Buddhism will be found in that  investigation.”  

About the pic : Sunset at the Manhattan Beach, Los Angeles.

The Art of Slaying Dragons

It was my first day at the University. We were a class of thirty students ready to pursue a Master’s degree in Physics. After three years in college, we all figured it out, (at least we thought we figured it all) that Physics is our love and we need to study further. We always tend to remember the first few days of everything new very vividly, only with time, things get blurred. First day at school, first bike, first girl friend, first few days of marriage, in short, the honeymoon period of everything new.

Coming back to the story, first class, a professor walks in, introduces himself and then asks each one of us to introduce to the class along with an answer to this question. “Why Physics?”. So far quite routine. When I say routine, the answers to the question too.   ” I want to pursue a career in research” ,  ” I want to contribute to the  scientific community or society” ,  ” I want to become a professor/teacher” , and so on.  There were a few honest ones too, where they just wanted to get a masters and get a banking job or any job. This went on for some time, and by the time the last few students introduced themselves, there were no new answers left.

After this ritual, the professor started asking more serious questions about why governments spend money to fund science research. He encouraged the class to participate in a discussion and started giving a historical perspective of how the Greeks and Romans used science and technology in their wars and how till today, this is the single most important reason to fund scientific research. To keep the war machines running!   The discussion slowly started moving towards the purpose of physics research, if we don’t want to use it to run the war machinery. The purpose of the scientific endeavor and the purpose of enquiry. At this point, the professor stepped in and told us a story which is still vivid and fresh in my mind. Here it goes:

A very long time ago, in ancient China, there were schools where they taught the art of slaying dragons. These schools attracted students not only from the Chinese mainland but from all around the world, countries far and near. The students who got into these schools were the best of the best, cream of cream. Once they were in these schools, they went through a rigorous training in all the martial arts and weapons training of those times. They honed their skills of mind  and controlled the matter. After long years of grueling hard work and training very few graduated from these elite schools.

Once these graduates walked out of school, their search for the dragons began. They wandered in all possible directions searching for the elusive dragons. The thick forests, the bone dry deserts, the plateaus and the oceans, looking for dragons. Some found the bones of a slain dragon while all most all others found legends of dragon warriors. But none found a dragon. Tired and beaten by the terrain and never ending search, but still convinced in the existence of dragons, these people returned. Some formed groups while others worked on their own but they all started schools and started teaching “The Art of Slaying Dragons”.

The story ended with an uneasy silence in the classroom followed by a few giggles. The bell rang and it was time for the next class.

About the pic : International Street Festival 2011, Athens , GA.

through the lens

As I was uploading some pictures to my flickr photo stream today, I suddenly realized that I was running short of apt tags or descriptions for the images. It was never the case earlier. As a matter of fact, I always had a punch line or description of the image right after I captured it and in some cases, even before I clicked it. For e.g. the above pic, right after I clicked it, I knew the description would be “gracefully fallen …” , but that was the first and last one. No matter how hard I tried to think, I didn’t have much to describe the rest.

It was like, “it is what it is” . There is no need to label it any further. There are you seeing what you see. No need for someone else to direct you what to see. No need to look down deep into the dungeons of your memory to recollect how it resembles something you already saw. Not to worry about how  a particular branch has less leaves  or looks more bright. Just be there! Something of a Zen state I guess!

When I first started taking pictures, it was more like seeing myself through the lens of a camera. I wanted to know what pleases me, makes me happy and soothes the eye. But, I see something different now. I just see things as they are; at least that’s what is happening now.

All this reminds me of a quote from the movie Anna and the King ….

“ Most people do not see the world as it is. They see it as they are. “

…  she goes on to say that education helps us to see the world “as it is” rather than as “we” are. I’ll stop here.

You all have a Happy Thanksgiving and holidays.

I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

In the movie “Invictus” , Nelson Mandela keeps referring to a Victorian poem which was his source of inspiration and perseverance  during his days in the prison. He wants to inspire Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon) and his team to win the rugby world cup and uses the same poem. The following quote by Mandela about inspiration and going beyond what one thinks can achieve is really worth remembering.

Mandela : How do you inspire your team to do their best.

Francois: By example. I’ve always thought to lead by example, sir.

Mandela:Well, that is right. That is exactly right.

But how do we get them to be better then they think they can be? That is very difficult, I find. Inspiration, perhaps. How do we inspire ourselves to greatness when nothing less will do? How do we inspire everyone around us? I sometimes think it is by using the work of others.

The poem which he refers to is “Invictus” a short Victorian poem written by an English poet, critic and editor William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I am the master of my fate: I am the caption of my soul!

About the pic: International Street Festival 2010, Athens, GA

a day at a village school….

During my last India trip (it was in Dec’09), I took an opportunity to visit a village school with my uncle who is a mathematics teacher in the same school. It was a high school with kids from grade VI to X.

I was greeted with smiling and curious faces. I very much felt welcome at this new place. There is something about the countryside; although there are very few people around, you never feel alone, whereas the solitude in the concrete jungle is crushing. As the students assembled for the morning prayer, I was suddenly feeling nostalgic with the memories of my school days flashing. Girls and boys lined up according to their grades and height. By the time I could notice anything further, the prayer had already started, followed by the pledge and then the national anthem.

After the assembly, my uncle informed me that I could go and teach his class. It was a Xth grade mathematics class and I was ill prepared for the class. He asked me not to worry and just talk to the students and solve any problems with their classwork. I walked into the class a bit nervous and hesitant as my vocabulary of the Telugu language is poor. I was greeted with a “Good Morning” by the whole class. I don’t know why, we chose to get rid of these greetings in college and university level. Anyways, I started with my introduction and then asked the students to introduce themselves along with what they want to do after high school as they were the outgoing batch.

As I was listening to their names, I had to keep asking about their plans, as very few of them had any. Except for one girl and a couple of boys, no one else had any plans for post high school. After their formal introductions, I asked them what they would like to hear from me. We finally decided, that I should talk about time management and goal setting. I gave them all the tips I knew and wished them best of luck for their finals. I was a bit relieved that the class got over and was happy to be back in the staff room with the rest of the teachers. A few minutes later, the principal came to me and asked if I could talk to the students of VIth grade. I was not excited after my experience in the first class, but agreed to do so.

This time, the greetings were louder with a lot of giggles. This class was bustling with activity and the children seemed more excited to have me in their class. They seemed confident during their introductions and had their ambitions and goals set high. Most of them wanted to be doctors or engineers. Some of them wanted to be in the armed forces while others in the teaching profession. Almost all these kids come from the same economic and social background. So, I was intrigued by such a stark difference in the Xth grade and VIth grade students. After the introductions, the students started asking about me. They wanted to know about my research and why I am doing it. I started explaining how understanding nature and learning science helps us solve many problems and make life better. Then one smart student asked about the “chicken and egg” problem. To answer it, I started explaining about ‘evolution’ and although they had not learned it yet in school, they seemed to appreciate what I was talking about. I encouraged them to keep asking questions to their teachers and persist till they understand it. Just then, the bell rang and it was lunch time. Interestingly, none of the kids got up. Infact, they wanted me to keep talking. One of them said, “we have lunch everyday, but don’t get to listen to you everyday ,so we can wait for the lunch”. I was really moved.

My uncle dropped me back at my house after the class. But for a long time I was thinking about why the kids in the VIth grade were so smarter and ambitious while the ones in the grade Xth seemed clueless and directionless. Is it something to do with the education, society or both?

Currently, I am reading a book, “Half the Sky” which talks about the oppression and exploitation of women in most of the developing world and how education can and has improved things. Personally, even if we cannot change the whole world, the least we could do is to fire the dreams of a few children. Make them believe that they can do it. Most of them don’t have a role model in their family and they are looking for one.

If you get a chance to inspire someone, do it!

-Vijay